Wrinkleblog

Dans Joke - Ireland declares war on France

2009-06-09T11:28:00.002+01:00

One of the guys from work sent out a joke today:

Nicolas Sarkozy, the French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. "Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Mayo, Ireland. I am ringing you to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you and your country."

"Well, Paddy," Sarkozy replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next-door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Sarkozy paused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army, waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again, "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Sarkozy asks. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Sarkozy sighs, amused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke." "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy, "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Sarkozy, the war's still on! We've managed to get ourselves airborne. We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us, as well!"

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy, I'm sorry to inform you that we've had to call off the war."

"Really? I'm sorry to hear that," says Sarkozy. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," says Paddy, "We had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and decided there's no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners!

Day one

2009-06-09T11:22:00.003+01:00

This man is the experiment - the BT experiment

Fray Bentos is the food of gods

2009-06-05T16:12:00.001+01:00

Wopper Freak Out

2009-06-05T14:37:00.000+01:00

One Man, One Box, One Month

2009-06-04T14:39:00.000+01:00

Cavan the movie

2009-06-01T16:20:00.000+01:00

Why the YouTube is great

2009-05-29T16:27:00.000+01:00

Soccer AM Dance off 09

2009-01-12T16:41:00.001Z

Invisibility Cloak

2008-08-11T11:06:00.000+01:00

Just when you thought that you wouldn't ever get the chance to be a superhero and instead would have to just get a proper job - like in a bank, or in a supermarket...but, now your dreams have been answered. The invisibility cloak could still become a reality...a University in America have got closer to the answer...so if you get a poke in the back some day and turn round to see no-one maybe you are surrounded.

Just been alerted by one of the guys in work about the spate of celebrity deaths at the weekend with Bernie Mac heading up top yesterday and then Isaac Hayes following him not long after. But even more disturbing is the fact that they are all starring in a film called Soul Men. Samuel L Jackson better watch out cause he's the 3rd big name in the film....and he's black. Thankfully Morgan Freeman wasn't in it, maybe his car accident would have ended up fatal.

Sundays

2008-08-10T20:58:00.000+01:00

What is it about Sundays that they feel like a lost day? I had a slight hangover this morning (my brothers b/day party) and it moves to being the overall Sunday feeling....like this rumbled nervy feeling that precludes a new week of work. I used to get it loads on Sundays before school...but it still happens....so annoying as hell. I am now trying to distract myself by a bit reading and listing to podcasts (one called Pubcast with Dom Jolly in it...pretty funny)....also by doing a few nice things like washing clothes and changing bedsheets etc.... builds up a nice feeling of having done something at the weekend before the following week. Writing in this blog also helps me feel a little bit better cause I haven't written a thing in it since Feb??? God thats ages. Anyway, written enough here and better sign off and keep a bit for later.

Goldfish can remember

2008-02-18T12:53:00.001Z

Just stumbled across this article which shows that goldfish really do have a great memory, that is, in comparison to the myth that it would only be a few seconds long.

Imagine you could break the internet?

2008-02-01T15:25:00.000Z

Now you can!! A ship mooring off egypt broke the internet for India and a lot of other Asian countries, they were cut off completely from the rest of the world since Wednesday, some of them will take a while to get back online.

Guardian Article

Also, our Dublin Office was cut off from the world today when the ESB Exchange in Dublin, just broke down......This makes me wonder how relient are we on the internet and the phone lines. I mean, if we had no electricity now, we'd be sort of in trouble don't ya think!! Thank god I can still write on paper and light a candle.

Random

2008-01-14T21:54:00.000Z

Jack Kerouac Quotes

Click Here

Crazy Polish music

2008-01-11T12:02:00.000Z

Count the ammount of strange instruments and check out the mad dancing man!

Click here to see

Monaghanese

2008-01-10T12:04:00.000Z

Now, if you come from Mongahan this is likely to be the funniest thing you have heard in years, if you aren't from Monaghan then you may be very confused or disgusted....People actually talk like this there.....no exaggeration

Click here to watch video

Soccer AM Dance Off

2008-01-09T21:05:00.000Z

Ack, the best dance off you can watch without a doubt

Snowfall stops Northern Ireland

2008-01-04T09:24:00.000Z

A heavy fall of snow last night calls Northern Ireland to a skidding halt. Woke up this morning and slid all the way to work, only to find work pretty empty as everyone just couldn't get up the road with all the motorways going at snails pace and public transport gone. I just want to run out and get involved in the snow maddness....making snow angels and snowmen....and snow ladies......

My God......best website ever....ever

2008-01-03T17:24:00.000Z

If like me, you are constantly missing telly and still haven't got yourself a tivo or a skyplus box, this website will be your saviour. Its apparently legal and it looks like I'm going to have a great time watching everything...particularly things like Heroes, Studio 60, Rising Damp, Match of the Day, Rock 30......my god.....I'm going to catch up big style.....when I get the time that is!!

No More Wopper

2008-01-02T17:27:00.000Z

Locate TV

2007-12-31T12:43:00.000Z

I was using stumble upon the other day when I found this magic site: LocateTV. You can put in the TV Show you want to watch and it tells you what channel and when the show is going to be shown.....means you can catch up on old telly! I just did an image search for old telly and I got a pic of Telly Savalas....see it pictured above!

Probably the best Viral Video of 2007

2007-12-29T12:28:00.000Z

Saw this on Big Fat quiz of the year over Christmas, its brilliant. Although, how much work went into it? and how did they choose who was going to be the main dancer and the lady?

Joe Dolan RIP

2007-12-28T11:32:00.000Z

Goodbye Joe, was great to hear you while you were here, you are a Legend!!

Street Installations

2007-12-26T12:52:00.000Z

I love my graffiti and ambient outdoor media, but these installations outside are brilliant....take a look

Goats in Trees

2007-12-11T16:43:00.000Z

Now can you guys help me answer a question? Are these goats that can climb trees or goats that can climb out of trees? My Girlfriend is sure that they can climb trees.

(Correct answer is my answer - goats that can fall out of trees)

Someone had a fierce thirst on them....

2007-11-30T11:29:00.000Z

How long would it take for the guys to drink them though?

10 pints a day, 4,000 days.....or one day per person if there were 4,000 people involved.

Afternoon Delight

2007-11-01T12:56:00.000Z

Love this BBC Ad

2007-10-23T23:24:00.000+01:00

T-shirt making

2007-10-23T15:20:00.000+01:00

Friends of mine have got me into the process of t-shirt designing, I just sit and doodle out a silly scene or something and then scan it into a computer and then low and behold.....it is printed out on special paper before being placed on a wonderful plain t-shirt....and then it is worn with pride and happiness by me. Such a simple process that I now wonder what I did before I made my own t-shirts and had a friend with a complicated iron t-shirt press thing?? What did I do?

Dave

2007-10-16T11:28:00.000+01:00

Everyone knows a bloke named dave and so they have renamed a television channel Dave to appeal to blokes who like Daves. It certainly appeals to me when I see that is showing re-runs of shows like Whoose line is it anyway, QI, Top Gear, Never Mind the Buzzcocks and Allan Partridge.....Proper cool!! Its on freeview, Cable and Sky...so we can watch it nearly everywhere.....no longer am I going to be bored!

Party in my Tummy

2007-10-11T09:06:00.000+01:00

Potatoes are not a Vegetable

2007-10-10T09:19:00.000+01:00

I learned last night the awful truth that Potatoes don't add to your daily allowance of 5 a day fruit and veg......I'm not sure if this is necessarily true, but when I take away the humble potato I do notice that I probably don't get my proper dosage of greens on a daily basis. I have a cold at the moment (and no ladies, this doesn't mean I'm on man flu mode with crutches and a cast)....and its probably the lack of proper vitamins that is allowing these horrible strains to latch onto me these days. So, I am ready to start my quest to discover more vegetables each day to beat the pain..Carrots, Onions, Peppers, Green Beans and Brocolli beware......you are getting eaten.

You silly sausage

2007-10-09T14:22:00.000+01:00

Its True

2007-09-27T16:17:00.000+01:00

Men are happier than women

20 Years of Chuckles

2007-09-26T12:50:00.000+01:00

To you, To me....To you, to me.....I mean who doesn't remember the Chuckle Brothers, I'm not sure they ever actually made me laugh....in fact I remember them as a weaker version of Cannon and Ball.....and i'm actually sure they were ever funny....in fact I don't know if anything was funny back then, or maybe I don't want to think back and realise that I found Les Dennis funny, I used to laugh out loud at Dusty Bin in 3,2,1....I would roll around my front room at Brian Connolly.....I don't want to remember that so, I keep thinking I didn't....So, maybe the Chuckle Brothers were so hilarious, I damaged my long term memory laughing with them.

Its a bit sad that one of the chuckles got beat up recently as well....maybe they didn't realise they weren't the stunt men they imagined they were....and the Slapstick just went too far.

Goodbye to the Special One

2007-09-20T12:48:00.000+01:00

I was at the train station this morning when I saw the bews ticker from skynews flash up on the cafe stop tv that Jose Mourinho had parted with Chelsea Mutally.....I mean....the best managerial record in the history of Chelsea has a slightly shaky start to a season that promises to be more competitive than ever and he is let go! I'm sure the teams in the second tier are rubbing their hands with glee....finally Man City, Everton, Newcastle, Tottenham, Aston Villa and Portsmouth have the best chance yet to catch up on that fourth place. I can't see Chelsea being as dominant without his personality......he was nearly bigger than the club. But as we can see, no one is bigger than Abramovich.....

Why are Paninis so Expensive?

2007-09-19T13:41:00.000+01:00

Okay, now this a question I have mulled over in my head for quite a while, I mean, as far as I know the humble panini landed into my life about 6/7 years ago, when the sandwich toastie was seen as too poor a meal and some bright spark saw the gap in the market. So, whats the difference between 2 slices of bread and a filling, lightly toasted and a longer piece of bread with the same filling, that makes the price so different. Now, its not likely you can buy a panini for less than £4.50 in the city here, maybe £3.90, while a massive sandwich costs about £2/3. So where does the extra £1.50 come from? Is there special training involved? Are the ingredients fresher? Does Mr Panini get a huge cut of the commission? There are some small restraunts in which you can get a full meal for the same price....with chips and meat and gravy....even a full breakfast....

This is what Wikipedia says:
A panino (IPA: [pʰəˈninəʊ]) is a sandwich made from a small loaf of bread, typically a ciabatta. The loaf is often cut horizontally and filled with salami, ham, meat, cheese or other food, and sometimes served hot.

So can anyone answer this question?

Hand dryers

2007-09-13T09:55:00.000+01:00

I was preparing myself for work today, while listening to an entertaining podcast of a BBC 6 Radio show called the Russell Howard show, a funny comedian that you can catch regularly on Mock the week. Anyway, they were talking about handdryers, particularly the Dyson Air blade and how its a fantastic device, like the fastest dryer ever.....and then they went into talking about some study Dyson had prepared in how people from the west are more likely to shake hands and so put less water on their hands, hence it takes less time for them to be dry, and with an Airblade thing then it takes seconds....while in Asia, where they are more likely to bow when greeting, they are liberal with the water and so they aren't as concerned having wet paws.

The point of me blogging about this is that I have used the airblade and its pretty cool....theres one in Dukes Hotel.....go and try it for yourself.

My Little Teapot

2007-09-11T09:14:00.000+01:00

I have decided that my task of this week is to go and invest in a little teapot, as in a conversation I had merely moments ago while making tea in a cup, challenged the validity of making tea in a cup, when there are perfectly brilliant cups of tea made in teapots. Tea must be made in a teapot, as it was decreed by the great tea lord when tea was first made, it allows the leaves to diffuse effectively, while the humble teabag smoothers the leaves and creates a taste that is flat and lifeless. So my mission will be accomplished, no more limp tea.

Pavarotti is Deaded RIP

2007-09-06T09:17:00.000+01:00

Fantastic TV ad

2007-09-03T11:57:00.000+01:00

I was standing in the chinese in Monaghan, talking about big brother with the woman behind the counter when this ad came on and we all stood transfixed....take a look

Soccer AM Dance OFF

2007-08-28T22:46:00.000+01:00

Laughed soooo much

Its the Big Game today

2007-08-26T15:05:00.000+01:00

Lucky Kerry go up against Dublin today in a game that reflects the olden days of GAA Football finals, the great battles between these teams have been chisled in the history of Football and tend to define the eras....and so here I am sitting expectantly.....waiting on the meal of a game to start! Come on Kerry!!

A game to harm me

2007-08-24T17:29:00.000+01:00

My Friendly work collegue Aaron has made a game in which the main basis is to hurt me.

Isn't Keady a great place altogether

2007-08-24T16:20:00.000+01:00

Browsing on the BBC website I had to stop when I saw a headline that surely isn't shown that often 'Bricklayer bites head off snake' I mean you can't make this stuff up. The fact that he is from Keady, South Armagh isn't really a suprise! They will eat anything up them parts.

Saw this on reddit today

2007-08-24T11:59:00.000+01:00

Yo Yo Mania

2007-08-22T16:36:00.000+01:00

Back into the Yo Yo craze in our office, since we all got one for our really successful campaign for BTNI. I think we are all slightly addicted at the moment, trying to relive our youthfulness through the classic toy once again.....I can remember how to do the up and down bit....but everything else has escaped me....maybe I never really knew how to do the other moves!

But, according to wikipedia legend has it that it started life as a weapon. My mind is overactive with images of crazy mutant midgets yeilding deadly yo yos!!

This is what greeted me this morning

2007-08-22T10:04:00.000+01:00

Taking a look through PopURL this morning and I found this enlightening story.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070820/od_afp/entertainmentbritain

Its not just the matter that someone got their bits stuck but the fact that it was a dwarf...that made it interesting!

My Music cube

2007-08-21T10:51:00.000+01:00

Another weekend of Also rans

2007-08-20T11:45:00.000+01:00

This weekend of sport, certainly eclipsed last week in terms of positive results for the teams I support. Yet, it was slightly tinged with a sense of unfairness. Just as Monaghan felt hard done by with regards to the referee performance last week, Liverpool ended up being dissapointed by Rob Styles, Chelsea 'who don't dive' got a lucky resuly when we controlled the game.

I felt we should have won what was essentially a home game. Away Chelski will be a different opposition and I was a bit wary of our continual long ball game.

Players like Babel, Pennant and particularly Torres will benefit more from a ball into the channels, and Kuyt works very hard but needs the ball in front of him to show what he can do, the odd snap shot is not going to build his confidence. There wasn't enough ball drilled accross the Chelsea box, we saw from last week that Kuyt got a goal from nothing when he played it into the no-mans land between back four and goalkeeper. Crouch suits the longer game and indeed should have played if they were the tactics we wanted to employ, but since we didn't play him, I don't get it.

Man Utd are a great template for playing in the low cross, they always get the second ball when the keeper nervously paws the ball out or there is panic with the central defenders.
Babel showed in a few moments of excellence what it can do to a team of any calibre.

Please Liverpool sort this out...and we will be getting a season to remember.

Transit Van Song

2007-08-18T11:48:00.000+01:00

Monaghan fall at tricky hurdle

2007-08-15T10:19:00.000+01:00

Clutched together on what used to be known as the Canal end, we watched on as Monaghan toiled and thrilled their way in an attempt to get past the mighty Kerry....who hung on to us by the coat tails all the way before a controversial point help them hold their nerve. We missed the points to win it in the 3 minutes of injury time, and Kerry got away with a snatch and grab, like Tyrone in the Ulster Final. Its a young team that was out there and another year in the League and Championship will see them prevail...maybe get as far as a Final?? Ireland will be looking out for Monaghan next year....rolling through Ulster again!

Why people always want to go to space

2007-08-12T10:11:00.000+01:00

He's a crazy moon

How I Feel sometimes!

2007-08-09T15:54:00.000+01:00

Horse it into ya Cynthia

2007-08-08T11:59:00.000+01:00

The best song ever with the line 'Your the onions in my burger and the Sugar in me tea'

Floods in Ireland

2007-08-07T11:56:00.000+01:00

This is what happens when the flood waters reach Ireland..... Most of them are getting ready to meet Noah in the boat as we speak.

The Mad Hatter Coffee Shop (Eglantine Avenue)

2007-08-06T11:09:00.000+01:00

The Mad Hatter is a place I'd heard quite about from friends that live on the Lisburn Road, they swear by this eaterie for their weekend breakfasts...so I decided to kick this piece off by visiting somewhere I'd never been and so I approached the hatter with a little bit of intrigue.

I sat down and quickly saw that it had a pretty big menu, particularly for the morning time, though I made my choice with the Ulster Giant Fry....looked good. Left to my own devices I sipped at my coffee and read the paper and half-way down the first article...the food arrived. That was fast. And for a man who likes to get his food quickly, especially after the 15 minute walk to get there....this was great. It was well cooked, loads of soda bread, and 2 big eggs and tonnes of bacon and two sausages. This was a good standard fry, a bit greasy and the sausages maybe were a bit watery....but all in all the service really made the meal better.

3 Soda Breads

One Email I won't be replying to

2007-08-06T10:57:00.000+01:00

Just got this email in moments ago.....and I was so excited... No, seriously, these things are a disgrace, I wonder how many peope fall for it. For anyone that doesn't know....its a huge hoax...just like the ones that are shown on tv in 'phonejacker'

Dear friend,

Sorry for intruding into your privacy, I am a 55 years old man and a British citizen currently living in Kuwait.

I am an Oil merchant and owned Oil businesses in Kuwait, Qatar and Saudi Arabia. I was married with two children and my wife and two children died in a car accident six years ago.

Two years ago I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and this week my doctors have just informed me that i have few months to live.

Before this happened my business and concern for making money was all I lived for. I never really cared about other values in life.

But since the loss of my family and after i was dianosed with prostate cancer, i have found a new desire to assist helpless families. I have been helping charity organisations by donating money to them to assist the less priviledge in Asia and other parts of the world.

Before I became ill, I kept some money, three and a half million dollars ($3.5million) to be precise in a long term deposit account in a private finance institution in europe.

Presently, I am in a hospital and my doctor says i have few months to live, and it is my last wish to see this money distributed to charity organizations.

Because so much of my wealth has been plundered by relatives and friends since my illness, I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them.

I want you to assist me collect the funds from the finance company in europe and distribute it amongst charity organizations. Use your judgment to distribute the money and keep 10% of it to yourself. Feel free to reimburse yourself when you have the money for any cost you incur during the process of collecting and distributing the money to charity organizations.

May you be blessed for your good deed.

Get back to me immediately so we can proceed and keep my contact with you confidential as i do not want my family to know that i am giving my fund away to charity.

Best regards,

Albert

Food Challenge

2007-08-05T10:11:00.000+01:00

I've decided to document to of my more regular food treats in my blog by describing the many hostelries that serve a fry on a Saturday and a Sandwich each day of the week. Its highly important to me to discover the best of both of these products, particularly the Sandwich as I tend to spend at least £3 on them everyday and I have been dissapointed on so many occaisions, that I have thought about not bothering some days.....even contemplatig making my own Sandwiches...Heaven Forbid!

A Wearable Sleeping bag

2007-08-01T09:06:00.000+01:00

I mean...this must be the greatest ever invention that I have seen this week....Maybe its the best thing ever ever ever invented? Its called a Selkbag and its available in many colours. I seen this over at Limmy dot com.

http://www.theparkashop.com/products/selkbag/selkbag1.html

Heaven Help the poor Robbers

2007-07-31T18:16:00.000+01:00

A Perfect example of the Gardai in action on the box!

Jumbo Breakfast Roll

2007-07-30T15:05:00.001+01:00

And sure its not for ye....not good at all
http://www.vhi.ie/hfiles/hf-461.jsp

Wookiepedia

2007-07-29T20:57:00.000+01:00

Okay...now this has just gone a bit too far......someone has taken the time to create a starwars version of wikkipedia called wookiepedia. Its in 13 differenet languages as well.

Transformers

2007-07-23T10:43:00.003+01:00

I went to see this at the weekend and I was sure it was likely to be a letdown.....most of these attempts at making cartoons into films are disasters....Captain America, Rocketman, Catwoman....very few good....Superman and Batman.....but thankfully Transformers stood up and is counted. Its Dark and funny...with the transformer changing the real cherry on the cake.....I was so excited as Optimus Prime stood straight....Definately go and see it.

Went to see The Simpsons as well.....I found it pretty boring....it was like a 2 hour episode of the cartoon.....and there's a reason why its only 30 mins normally...it doesn't stretch well....and all the stories had been done before....10 years of episodes means theres obviously going to be overlap in this money making adventure.

Frogs Legs

2007-07-23T10:43:00.001+01:00

Was out last Saturday in a French Restraunt for the first time....there's not too many in Belfast (Hopefully this helps my case a bit) and looking at the menu I had to give the Frogs legs a go. I didn't totally know what to expect from them but sure hey, you only live once. I never really think of Frogs too often and I particularly don't think about their legs....perferring to think about the female variety (not female frogs). But anyway, it arrived swimming in Garlic and there were 3 legs.....and each of them looked like Frogs legs....so I went at them with a knife and fork when I really should have just lifted them and eaten them like a chicken wing....because thats what they were....Garlic Chicken wings...and a bit rubbery with it as well.. So, the old adage 'everything tastes like chicken' is true! So why eat Frogs when you can get perfectly nice Chickens.

Waiting on the Furniture

2007-07-20T09:17:00.000+01:00

Its been 6 months since I bought 2 sofas from DFS and I have had one sofa for nearly 4 of those months, the other being a 3 seater that couldn't fit into my flat had to go back only to be replaced by another 2 seater.....so now I've been waiting and waiting and waiting on another sofa ever since. They have made up crazy excuses....like there's a ferry strike in Italy, or that there has been a Lorry strike or theres been a strike on actually delivering the feckin furniture.....This has got ridiculous

Now, I've ordered a table from Tesco Direct and its a week late and I'm getting the same sort of carryon......we can't contact our suppliers today....the delivery men can't carry anything today....

5:30 Blink Blink

2007-06-27T20:39:00.000+01:00

Going to ye olde London tomorrow on a plane and I am overly excited....I love going other places but my plane/train/bus missing paranoia is likely to leave me really tired by the time I reach the Media conference at about mid-morning as I am raising my head at about 5:30am.....I'm not sure there is actual life at that time....definately not sure I've ever seen that time on purpose....unless I've been up all night and have been dancing like loon and not noticed the time till 7....which always tends to be the time we all go ohh...its the next morning....but I haven'r purposefully ever thought....mmm ohh its 5:30am....that is until tomorrow morning.

Goth Catchers

2007-06-23T20:49:00.000+01:00

I just walked through Belfast and experienced a wonderful carnival of colour- a festival of multi-cultural and as I listen to the 'rise and fall of Tony Blair' blaring on the telly behind me and the bustle of the 12th of July preparations blowing in my window.....i'm thinking back to 4 hours ago when I saw two women dressed as butterful catchers try to catch a couple of goths with their nets....easily the funniest thing I've seen in quite a while. It makes everything seem right with the world somehow.

Answer to all the Housing Problems

2007-06-08T12:06:00.000+01:00

Again just browsing on the BBC website and found this interesting article a guy was testing out the small box type houses that are being developed to remedy the affordable housing situation and I'm sure it would.....but I've a flat that's a hell of a lot bigger can hardly fit all my stuff and those of my tennant...so I couldn't imagine living on what would probably pass for the same as a Caravan. Summers on holidays in a cramped tent or Caravan were ok for a 2 week break.....but would I choose to live like that....eh no!

Gingerism

2007-06-06T12:58:00.000+01:00

I nearly fell off my bean bag laughing at this

Gingerism as bad as racisim

Virtual Magnetic Poetry on a Fridge

2007-06-06T10:02:00.000+01:00

Build your own poem on this virtual Fridge thingy
http://www.broken-notebook.com/magnetic/

It may keep you occupied for all of 5 minutes

Mondays

2007-06-04T12:58:00.000+01:00

Ahh god...been a long morning, hard to get back into the swing of things after a long weekend...my head is all fuzzy from the drink

Sign of getting old

2007-06-01T15:03:00.000+01:00

I was playing football on Wednesday night with Ronan and some of the guys from his work. Just an hour long game of 5-a-side and for the first time ever in my life I was completely out of breath and energy after about the first 20 mins. It has been a year since I had last played football but at the same time normally I have more energy and its normally after not pacing myself that the first 20 mins give me gip....but hey.....this time there I was back in goal for about 15 mins of the game...completely wrecked. And here I am 2 days later walking around like I have a broken leg or something.....completely suffering for it....the lactic acid is killing me. I'm going to keep this up for however long I can get a game because I can't leave it a year again....if I do I'll be close to death....

Another Year Another Big Brother

2007-05-29T15:16:00.000+01:00

Yes, once again its that time of year again when everyone says they won't be caught dead watching big brother but low and behold its all they seem to talk about in work the next day. They call it the water cooler syndrome, we are always going to be curious about what the other guys are talking about....but then 7 seasons in we can't fool anyone anymore....just watch the bloody thing and admit to watching it. There I sat again waiting for this years housemates seeing attractive woman after attractive woman walk into the house realising there's going to be no men....happy days....what man wants to watch other men for 24 hours. But then what man wants to listen to 19 year old girls squealing in the tv show for 30 mins...Either way I'll watch it anyway....just because there's very little else to do with my evenings....

Day of Reflection

2007-05-25T13:45:00.000+01:00

Awoken with a hangover that could have felled a huge donkey, I embarked on a day of quiet reflection on a night that should have seen Liverpool 6 times champions of europe. But, for a second season in a row the English team returned home empty handed from the final....maybe this time we deserved it more, we had no luck.

Anyway, back to work today still a little bit shellshocked..(more from alchol than the result)...to find that my friendly workmates have plastered everything on my desk in AC Milan momentos.....ohh how they find so much glee in my misfortune.

Lets hope we can rebuild and wipe that smile off their faces for next season.

Tea is healthier than Water

2007-05-23T09:33:00.000+01:00

I always knew it was true, the tea is the giver of life, I actually can't really start or end a day without a cup of tea or coffee...a bit like Jeeves from the PG woodhouse novels.

Whet the appitite for next Wednesday

2007-05-18T12:29:00.001+01:00

New Steven Gerrard Top 10 - The funniest bloopers are right here

Big Sam has a big job

2007-05-15T16:27:00.000+01:00

Newcastle are perrenial under-achievers and yet it seems to be the place many well regarded managers go to loose their reputations. Many have gone before to the sword there Bobby Robson, Kevin Keegan, Rudd Ghullit, Graeme Souness just to name a few, some of those had actually won league titles with less fashionable clubs before taking up the reigns, something Big Sam has never actually done.

So, will Sam bring them to the brink like Keegan and Robson or will his career be left in tatters like Souness and Ghullit.....only time will tell.....one thing is for sure it will prove to be a bigger job than sustaining the limp appitites of the Bolton faithful.

But then, all he needs to do is buy himself a decent defence and keep Freddie Shepard happy by winning the Carling cup or whatever its called these days.

All - Ireland Slam

2007-05-15T16:21:00.000+01:00

Good man Gerard in getting a great result last weekend in the first All-Ireland poetry slam.
Just saw a link today for footage of the Ulster Slam, some classic video here from the BBC of the guys I perform with on a regular basis.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/radioulster/artsextra/features69309.shtml

Euro deaf

2007-05-14T17:26:00.000+01:00

Did anyone reading this blog see the terrible poop that was Eurovision? In past years I was able to sit getting gradually blocked whilst watching Albanian's jump around in Monkey suits and feel strangely smug that at least Ireland didn't particularly care who won this event. In fact laughing with Terry was great and putting a bet on the most rediculous bollox would have been a reason to keep a little bit tense. But this year was the final straw. Ireland were crap, having a song that warrants a hundred Irish musicans on stage at the same time is sure to be a failure...beaten by a fat Christopher Biggins covered in Tinfoil and a butch lesbian surrounded by other skinnier more attractive lesbians....I mean where is the magic of Johnny Logan now?

This a proper Eurovision Song

2007-05-12T10:49:00.000+01:00

Don't Hassle the Hoff

2007-05-11T15:42:00.000+01:00

Despite poor old Hasslehoff having a bad old few weeks of it, being filmed by his daughter drunk as a skunk, he is still king of the internet.

I mean he has lived an extraordinary life already but to then create such videos as the following brings him to another level:

Hooked on a feeling
Jump in my car
Looking for freedom
Secret Agent Man

And a special treat Live in Berlin

B*%STARDS

2007-05-10T15:51:00.000+01:00

Are they on a mission to make me loose my cool!

Chocadobie

2007-05-08T13:00:00.000+01:00

WTF????

This ad was on TV years ago for Kinder Egg.....and I'm totally sure I know what it means....but I think I like it....

Also, its been revealed today that Lost is going to continue until 2010 and so we have 3 years of confusion still to see....

Also, Also....went to see Spiderman 3 and I don't care if this is a SPOILER or not but WTF was going on with dancing bad Spiderman.

Athens

2007-05-04T13:56:00.000+01:00

Been completely slack on this lark this week without at least commenting a little about another great night for us Liverpool Supporters.....had the nails ravaged as I watched the game just trundle on.....I couldn't believe the off-side decision on Durk Kuyt.....and how good Zenden dispatched that penalty and finally how good Reina was on the day....

The next day was frivilous as I hoped for a Milan opponent just because I think that United would have beaten us in the last minute and I couldn't have taken that.

Tiling

2007-05-01T16:21:00.000+01:00

Hurrah, got the Tiling of our bathrooms underway....finally after being in the flat for nearly 6 months. Its going to be finished this week he (the tiler) says.....and then it will be nice and done....and respectable.....then I have to get the new sofa delivered and then the pictures on the walls and a new flatmate....and then and then and then

Probably the best Sandwich shop in the world

2007-04-26T14:24:00.000+01:00

Oh, I just had a wonderful happy thing happen this lunchtime......just out on a stroll around Belfast city centre, really around the Victoria Centre area and I found that 'Doorsteps' have put a new sandwich store in the middle of town. Previously you had to go down the Lisburn road or all the way to near the seacat terminal to get their sandwiches and now finally they are in town. The queue was round the block for a sandwich that is quite literally a 'Doorstep' in size.

Is Superman Real?

2007-04-24T09:02:00.000+01:00

Doing my usual trawl of stupid stories on the net this morning when I found this one claiming that they have found Krypotonite in a mine in Serbia. So, then if they dig a little deeper they may find the spacecraft.

9000 Visits

2007-04-23T11:13:00.000+01:00

Finally I have broken the 9,000 visits to my blog after nearly two years.... Likely most of them are from me, but hey....it looks cool anyway

Chelsea Machine?

2007-04-23T11:09:00.000+01:00

Watching all the Saturday Football show pundits going on and on about how much a machine that Chelsea are...in fact Steve Claridge having an argument with Peter Beagrie about how he felt that Chelsea would scare Man Utd into making a mistake by being so ruthless.... and then we see Man U slip up and what do Chelsea go and do? They draw with a poor Newcastle team. Maybe the Scum deserve to win this year, everything seems to be going right for them.

Hopefully we can teach Chelsea a lesson on Wednesday...do the scum a favour!

Man United on the skids

2007-04-21T19:14:00.000+01:00

Just watched Middlesboro holding onto a draw with Man U and they were lucky not to be beaten by a penalty....if it was given. We will see how Chelsea get on tomorrow....the machine should rumble on and take all the games before the end of the season and be final victors.

Word Verification

2007-04-20T12:21:00.000+01:00

Now, I understand why we must have Word Verification on every posting area and why we must add in a crazy collection of letters before we have a post approved....but it still is a tremendous hassle....at the same time it takes a matter of 2 mins (no even this long) and so maybe I should think about my own patience threshold....it must be really, really short. In fact I find it difficult to just be content with only doing one thing at a time....you may find me at home, reading a book while looking out the window with the radio on and the internet on and the television on some old comedy channel...also likely cooking a pie in the oven...yum yum......maybe I'm using up far too much electricity by having all these things going on at the one time....shit I ruining the world due to my impatience....eek

Sudan Man Forced to Marry Goat

2007-04-19T15:32:00.000+01:00

While surfing through the BBC news pieces today, I happened upon the following interesting news story that tickled my ribs quite a lot over the past 10 mins:

Sudan man forced to marry goat

Running

2007-04-17T20:17:00.000+01:00

Feel a million times better now today after I went for a quick jog along with my mate Mark. We drove up to Whiteabbey and ran along the shore for about 20 mins and boy are my calves singing.... But hey we may as well take advantage of this weather while we have it.

Never get another DVD

2007-04-15T13:48:00.000+01:00

This website I have found has links to nearly every television show you ever wanted to watch....You may never have to go and buy a DVD boxset again....

Facebook

2007-04-14T13:21:00.000+01:00

I decided to join that social networking site called Facebook since I had heard that it had quickly become one of the top 20 busiest websites in the UK. Within 24 hours I have caught up with two friends I hadn't heard from in years (6/7 years to be exact).....isn't that wonderful. Maybe it will continue this way and I will find all those people I have met in my life.

Grand National Today

2007-04-14T13:18:00.000+01:00

Its the Grand National today at Aintree and with all the horse racing on it is likely to be a busy day for the bookies. I've put a few pound on a horse called Point Barrow since I have already heard a lot of people scrambling a few quid on him already. Lets hope he wins.

Running the World - Jarvis Cocker

2007-04-13T09:02:00.000+01:00

My workmate Matt Pinder in Bluecube came up with this alternative video to the Running the World song by Jarvis Cocker. Its only half finished but is already building up the hits in the past few weeks...in fact he has just been contacted by an American Band asking if he can make their next video. Check it out

Wupert De Aiir

2007-04-13T08:58:00.000+01:00

My good Swiss friend Wolfgang came over to Belfast last week and spent 10 days putting some music together for his act Wubert De Aiir he played a couple of super gigs here and is likely to be back for more in July this year. So Check him out, he is one crazy horse!

Bloody United

2007-04-12T11:10:00.000+01:00

Typical that Man United would beat Roma 7-1 when I thought they were in trouble.....hard to shake of this hatred of that football club... 'I would love it if we beat them' in the Champions League final, but then I would rather not meet them at any stage of this competition because my nerves certainly wouldn't hold up when the possibility of a John "smiling bastard" O'shea could score in the last minute again....

Easter

2007-04-12T10:59:00.000+01:00

Had a few days off earlier this week and of course caught a bit of the sniffles that I've been trying to shake off ever since. I seems in the laws of probability that the time you are likely to feel run down and destroyed is a day when the sun is shining, you could be doing a million things and you are off work. But hey, its nearly gone and a couple of days at work later and I'm looking forward to the end of a short week and a weekend of doinbg interesting things.

I got back into reading a lot more again, I've read about 3 books this past month

A Short History of Tractors in Ukranian by Marina Lewycka
On Beauty by Zadie Smith
All Quiet on the Orient Express by Magnus Mills

Started into Birdsong by Sebastien Faulks which is I suppose a completely different journey than the others but still interesting all the same. I've been filling the shelves of my bookcase with second hand books every weekend over the past few months and am just sort of picking the next journey at random from these as I go on.... Its far better than getting sucked into the television or into the PC when I get home.