Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Dans Joke - Ireland declares war on France

One of the guys from work sent out a joke today:

Nicolas Sarkozy, the French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. "Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Mayo, Ireland. I am ringing you to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you and your country."

"Well, Paddy," Sarkozy replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next-door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Sarkozy paused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army, waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again, "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Sarkozy asks. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Sarkozy sighs, amused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke." "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy, "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Sarkozy, the war's still on! We've managed to get ourselves airborne. We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us, as well!"

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy, I'm sorry to inform you that we've had to call off the war."

"Really? I'm sorry to hear that," says Sarkozy. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," says Paddy, "We had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and decided there's no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners!

Day one

This man is the experiment - the BT experiment

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Monday, June 01, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009

Monday, January 12, 2009

Monday, August 11, 2008

Invisibility Cloak

Just when you thought that you wouldn't ever get the chance to be a superhero and instead would have to just get a proper job - like in a bank, or in a supermarket...but, now your dreams have been answered. The invisibility cloak could still become a reality...a University in America have got closer to the answer...so if you get a poke in the back some day and turn round to see no-one maybe you are surrounded.

Just been alerted by one of the guys in work about the spate of celebrity deaths at the weekend with Bernie Mac heading up top yesterday and then Isaac Hayes following him not long after. But even more disturbing is the fact that they are all starring in a film called Soul Men. Samuel L Jackson better watch out cause he's the 3rd big name in the film....and he's black. Thankfully Morgan Freeman wasn't in it, maybe his car accident would have ended up fatal.