Bad Santa

I saw that film Bad Santa last night on DVD, with Billy Bob Thornton and some wee fat kid. Now I was going to get a picture of the wee fat kid and say something like a face not even a mother would love but when I googled Bad Santa, I suddenly realised it is likely to throw up strange images that should not be accessed in work. But low and behold I found a picture of Saddam in santa costume and felt I had to share. Surely the ex-president of Iraq didn't dress up too often.

One 5 min phone call is all it would take

but, I always feel compelled to write feckin 20 text messages or an hours worth of emails to and fro to make a decision about things. Its getting to be a sad state of affairs when the simple act of phoning someone is becoming so difficult that it becomes acceptable to spend an hour to get a message accross instead of just phoning goddamn it.

Wall to Wall Simpsons

I don't know about your television coverage of the Simpsons, but everyday I come home from work I could watch at least 5 or 6 episodes throughout the night, mean I could have my whole evenings viewing consist completely of the Simpsons. Though if I need a change I can switch to the 3 episodes of Friends that come on in between. Televison scheduling is becoming such a lazy job, where are the intersting new shows that aren't reality tv or cookery programmes?

7.9????

I resubmitted at the weekend on Hot or Not and the egjits have given me an overall rating of 7.9.....what in gods flute is going on?

http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=OUO8A8A&key=WLY

And some crazy fool gave me a 10 rating????

Not all kids love santa

Here is a gallery of kids afraid of santa I'd be bloody afraid of half of them though.....

Ricky Gervais Podcasts

Incredibly funny Podcasts are available free every week from the guardian website featuring extracts from Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and the true hero of the episode is Karl. Listen and see how they bully him into saying the maddest things, like 'I wouldn't like to find a cure for aids cause then we would get overcrowded'. Classic!

Richard Pryor RIP

Google is taking over my PC

My computer in work is now being taken over by Google, I got curious about Google desktop and Google Earth and started them up last week. Google Earth is a bit scarey that you can zoom right down to my street and you can see all the cars in our car park. If that is what is available for us then what do governments have??? The desktop thing scares me a bit more cause they can see exactly what is on your Hard drive. Every search they can do refreshed their records.......not that I have anything to hide, just don't like the idea of the snooping possibilities.

Sopranos Day

Spent most of today watching the first season of the Sporanos. I borrowed it from my brother about a month ago and this is the first chance I have taken to sit down and watch it. It's great, its like a whole day of Godfather and Goodfellas all rolled into one.....loving it! I'll be all like a gangster in my head for a few days after I reckon.

Blink Blink

I started a new photoblog today called Blink Blink its going to be the collection of pictures from my picture phone. Just whatever I seem to take I'll put it up here and hopefully you guys will enjoy them. Just random images.

In Prague this is a police car

Sleepy Dutch Cat

I was in a lovely wee bar in Amsterdam near the hostel on my recent holiday there drinking a smoothie (yep, me? a smoothie) and I looked accross only to see a cat jump up on the counter and proceed in falling asleep.....it was so peaceful even when a couple sat down beside it and had a very heated conversation over it. Wish you could see cats do that in pubs here.

Origin of my name

I always thought my name meant Rua: Red and Dhri: King. But a helpful friend then pointed out yesterday that it might be Red headed King. When I went in investigating what it was, I found about five or six spellings, each of them meaning something else entirely. In fact one explained that it was Teutonic which isn't even celtic but German.

Does anyone know the answer (apart from smarties?)

Merry Christmas from all at AV Browne

Click on the link and discover how AV Browne celebrate Xmas:

www.avb.co.uk/amarillo

Look out for someone you might know with the severe bout of clapping near the end.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Went to see a film last night, wasn't sure what it was going to be about and wasn't so sure if it would be good. But it turned out to be about entertainment and having so many twists to avoid cliches.......plenty of A standard dialogue!

Go see it when you get the chance.

Lovley Baby

Gin makes you sin

So, two Xmas dinner evenings later and I'm sporting what one might call a Gin makeover. Tis a beautiful drink, made with juniper berries and when coupled with a tonic can do wonders for the mind. But, two days later it merely leaves you with speckled memories. Gin I love you, but please leave me be for a few days so I can get my brain back.

Crouch breaks his Duck

In the pub yesterday to see the longest player in Liverpool history score a goal of crazy flukiness and celebrate like it had won a world cup final, only to have it snatched away moments later. Though he still stepped up and fired home another to end a long run of games without a goal.

We salute you mr crouch! Keep up the glory and let Liverpool crush the 12 point gap and restore ourselves in greatness again.

Where petrol pumps once stood

It didn't open till the first cough of October stuttered from him, but, it was magical, a kingdom of roman candels, catherine wheels, whirly pops, Wolf whistlers, comando crackers arranged like coloured candy bars. Lined along corrugated iron walls, easily found in a safe house cellar.

Waiting under pipe smoke for the first arrivals, weeks early for festivities. Stirring preparations for the pitch battles of devil bangers and repeaters that fill the small estates in toxic breath as midget gangs showered their might. Later unveiling the moon bombers amid booster rockets to puncture the cold as the temperatures rise.

Reading the paper, door wide open, artificial blue light like litmus paper, displays an arsenal available to the highest bidder.

Eating German Sausages

there's nothing like standing in the middle of Belfast Christmas market eating the hugest German sausage in a tiny bun with a smidge of mustard and enjoying it make you feel like the gayest man in the whole of the world. But i'm not, it's the mind playing tricks.

30 days

Your man that created the documentry about eating mcdonalds for 30 days has gone one better and created a full series of 30 day binges on a number of things. The one I have seen sees an American mother drink alcohol for 30 days straight to teach her daughter how not to live. 30 days is a long time. I drank for 8/9 days straight while in Prague and I had to do a lot of recovery following it, though it didn't put me off. Within the week I was throwing the black stuff into me like I was a man possessed.

Isn't guinness lovely

Lemsip day

How come when I second guess my body suffering from a Cold and feed it full of hot drinks and tablets, etc....does it still inevitably happen. Here I am surrounded by tissues and empty cups at work and there's nothing I can do about it. Typical it is the day of our work nite out and I will end up completely wrecked tomorrow due to a free bar and the cold beginning to take over. GITS!

Feinting Goats

A wee bit of a scare and they go all stiff and fall over. Not much good as a defence mechanism.

On Being invited to Blackpool

I've been invited to Blackpool and I just realised that I have only ever been to England on the way to somewhere else. Over here in Northern Ireland we are nearly as anglophile as the English are, only our culchie Irishness keeps us in check. In fact I'll be in England on the way to Prague on holiday.

So, maybe next year i will go to Blackpool and view its pleasure beach and climb the tower and realise how cold it feckin'is.

Maxwell House

Now, I like my coffee, in fact I think I love my coffee. Now, I just realised at the weekend that I love shitty powder coffee the most, because I remember drinking it all during my a-levels and enjoying coffee after coffee without repercussion. Now, I have a proper coffee and my eyes bulge and i get overdose symptoms....unable to sleep etc... Maxwell House is the way to go....

Rain, rain, rain, rain

The clocks changed the other day to give us a bit more daylight during the day but its been flipping raining for the past week. This wasn't so annoying until last week a sudden gust of wind turned my unmbrella inside out. I was very dissapointed....as i loved that umbrella. Its currently sitting upturned in a bucket in my dads bar and it may stay there.

Carlise Circus

Roll up Roll up
Bombs and Bullets a bus ride away

See families suspended by peace line,
See man tease the lions jaw with fresh kneecaps,
See petrolbomb fireworks inflame the streets,
See colourful parades pass through the eye of a needle,
See neighbourhoods defined by curbstone,
See landrovers pockmarked with direct hits,
See drugs and new money light the way for thick necked defenders,
See blind faith leading the blind,
See governments ungovern,

Roll up Roll up
Bombs and Bullets only a bus wreck away

Copyright Ruairi Mc Nally

Well done Tyrone

Finally, after months of trying and 10 matches later Brian Dooher picked up Sam....I had to congratulate them after such a good game.

And Down minors are looking good as well....hope this bodes well for the future.

JD and Coke

ohh no......ohhh no, no, no.....ohhh no, no, no, no ,no......I didn't go and find meself another spirit that I can enjoy on occaision?.....I did...like Hunter S Thompson I have discovered Jack Daniels and its sweet happiness.

Beans

I have always hated beans and today I had a breakfast in a restraunt and due to the fact I forgot to ask for no beans.....the beans were added to the plate and so....I had to look at them.....then it helped me loose my appitite.....so what does this teach me? Always remember to ask for no beans in future or else get hungry!

Rain and Noise

Perfect start to a Friday morning to hear the sound of a digger outside. No, not the Hitchikers guide to the galaxy type scenario but urban development right beside my window....then I get outside and its raining like a bastard....i get wet knees on my way to work....and soggy shoes!

Norn Iron 1 v 0 Mainland

Norn Iron beat the mainland yesterday evening to great celebration as the Norn Irish people danced in streets like they all had babies.

Cigars were smoked and dogs were merry as they cheered on David Healy from Killylea's winning goal and beat the mighty overpaid empirical white shirted wannabes. Horray they shouted! Everyone was happy and slept like cows.

Join a country

I have joined a new country and its name will be decided tonight. A man has decided to create a country in his bedroom and has developed all the trappings. I was interested so I joined and now I belong to his country and my own flat is a fellow embassy.

Join this country at this website www.citizensrequired.com and you may be part of a country called Lovely by tomorrow.

Incidentally its population is larger than Monaco already.

sucking coffee in an office

As I come to the end of another day in the heat of my tiny office....I suck at my coffee and count down the ticks until the fresh air outside.

Been reading some friends blogs http://breadnjamforfrances.blogspot.com and http://garishandtweed.blogspot.com/ and it made me think about starting back and fixing up my own......its about bloomin time....so here I am. Back again!

Another Saturday and Another Hangover

Severely hungover and fragmented, great nite last nite in the Graffiti for a meal with my buddies......ended up getting sick in the bogs.....first time in forever......must be the red wine, not sure if my stomach can stomach too much of the red stuff especially when mixing with baileys coffees and a big steak and all that...

Headed up to Derry to meet with Suzie and Aubrey and showed them round a bit of Derry....the walls, the murals.....etc....which was nice I suppose....Derry is such an interesting place, cool bars and restraunts and it is so bright now......I miss it now when I visit it! Then to Donegal........and Mc Grorrys....a nite of crazy dancing and standing in the cold discussing the merits of taxis, coats and how black people can get away with flamboyant clothes........we gatecrashed the main acts house....and required a golden pages to incurr our warmth that we didn't get from sausages....battered or not!

Finally 27

For the past few months, in fact last 6 months I think I have been 27 in my head, not because I have had any great need to become one year older but mainly because 26 is such a non-happening age to be. There is absolutely nothing interesting about being 26 at all.....i mean.....what happened to me this year? I was depressed for the first time in memory, i mean really depressed and not in the damnn I cut my finger type way, but in the ohh I don't want to talk to anyone sort of way.......anyway, thats months ago and the 27 year old Ruairi has started quite well, in a better job, with better money and more scope for a future.....loving it really!.....I was told during a chinese reading thingy that this would be a tempestuous time.....in a good way and I can definately feel that change occuring!......hopefully a butterfly will emerge from this cocoon!

CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE

We congrugated like verbs at the back of the Empirical arena In fairest Belfast, full on faith, drunk on song, perched like eagles waiting for the carrion to fall.........the match kicked off as titan clashed against titan....the red flashes tore against white and we had expectations. Only to be dashed by an early ariel attack as the winged Mercurial figure of Maldini rose high above the clouds to crash home a puncturing goal past our statuesque defence. We looked inwards to our soul and searched yet nothing flickered, the crowd dyed down as we watched in disrepute at the hapless passing of our nervy warriors, looking shorter than their stature......Gerard swamped in midfield, his starter motor flooded as he looked on to see Milan suck up our resolve and spit back at us with two goals in the first section.......Bambi flapped, carragher was pulled up from anchor and drifted with his fellow tug boat out in the oceans of turkish waters......Baros couldn't get anything to stick and the Mightly Australian terrorist tried to sabotage our hopes.....Smicer stepped on to no applause as we knew he was too fizzle out with a bang........

The half time bell clanged 3 times and many of us turned and returned to the warmth of our caves far from the berrating scorched remarks from those ready to pounce.......some of us prayed and found faith from the past........remember Newcastle, remember Arsenal, remember PSV...............never forget our heros......Porcelain fans fell by the wayside.....suclking inwards and thinking of strengthening their allegiences to london......we watched you walk away!.....

We ready the troops.....we Bring in the German......to steady the ship.......Hamann shrinks the sea....he brings our fleet together....cementing them into a strong team...one

The cauldron fired up again and the huge banners cried out 'you have nothing to lose but dignity'....fight like lions.....minutes can change......We clutched at straws, we battled......alonso tried to orchestrate an out of tune baros...silenced by the twin pillars of love and hate......Then Gerard found his voice shrill and clear.....he grew mammoth wings, he hung in the air and nodded an arrow home....into the apple......we grew on hope.....Garcia delivered the ball to the milanese on the circle and told them to try and stop us.....we looked in their eyes....we saw fear in the eyes of these rich italians unfamiliar with red storms enveloping them in passion..........Smicer often a baying donkey....cut in slicing a hole in gattuso and pirlio................aiming a silver bullet that proved too hot for Dida to hold.....we believed.....we believed WE BELIEVED....be AFRAID......Again we told the Milanese this wasn't their year.....second in the Scuddeto.....second for life......we took the life of your victors.....we squeezed their life away and watched Capello lose his ticket for the greatest opera in the world too early.........and Gerard bursted like a flame into the Box......they couldn't touch him......they had to fell him.....and he fell TIMBER TIMBER.....the crowd saw him pull down cities and crumble monoliths as he fell........we bayed for claret......we shouted for justice....but money talks and Alonso stepped up like a man of stone......a hot potato in Didas hands and it lived in the minds of people as it rustled in the net.................YESSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This is our year........The Popes Death, A Royal Wedding.....all the Favourites losing against us......you may have have laughed..........

The Gates closed......our Tug ships became huge Oil tankers and we saw the white feather come on with a tremendous roar........CISSE must......Pergatory awaited.......we limbo danced our way through 22 mins to see the greatest double save in the history of the earth.....stand back Banks.....stand aside Seaman.....we have a new Polish Pope...............Dudek......now a cardinal must stand before the votes

Vote one......he moves like a caterpillar and the brazillian author writes on the sky........
Hamannn our rock steps forward and leaves no doubt
Vote two.......does the funky chicken and we watch him push a spagetti western into bolagnese
Riise tired, exhausted after a lifetime of a season buckles....but we hold him up...we will hold them out
Vote three....tries to look Kaka in the eye....but the Brazillian is Brazillian after all and turns the screw
Smicer makes us doubters cry into our past and rewrite his histories
Vote four....The eastern block meets the Iron Curtain and the curtain frays.......

THE NOSE OF FORTUNE SAVES OUR SOUL AND WE KEEP THE TROPHY........WETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY....WHETHER TO LIVE OR DIE....WE KNOW NOT......ALL WE KNOW IS WE ARE HAPPIER THAN JOY.......WE CAN HOPE AGAIN

LIVERPOOL CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE 2005

Morning!

Couldn't sleep with the Technicolor rays of drink forcing my veining
eyelids open and was haunted by men with beards roaming the streets
with toes nail clippings embedded like bits of toast and egg.....so I
pondered.....and I pondered like your man Atlas holding the world
astride his shoulders using his mind to try and stop the waters from
falling away from land and turning earth into a huge rotten apple of
mud.....I think that's when I think best is whenever all around me is
falling apart...although all is not falling apart I pretended it was
just to think like a mad man......so I pondered and pondered and
figured stuff out in my wee head......and then sleep took me.....woken
by rain on the window and an alarm blaring in my ear.....so I sleep
walked to the shower and the bus stop....misty rain cloaking my every
step......and here I am.....on a Friday numb from the head
up.....waiting for something to happen that leaves me flat on my face
looking up at the worms......but it won't....its a Friday and Fridays
mean crunchies and crunchies mean honeycomb and sunny glades and busy
bees and picnic rugs and fresh orange juice with strawberries and
games of swing ball and cool lakes that splash when I fall in wearing
nothing but a smile....and paddle like a dog who found a ball to the
edge before a barbecue on the beach with coconut shades and purple
sunsets with steel drums echoing a different place as we watch the
little boy sail off into the sunset on the back of a turtle never to
be seen again!

Ohh What a night!

What a team......what a performance...ohhhhh what a night....

The soldiers of fortune stepped up to the plate and the 'new' baby
faced assassin punctured the Chelsea balloon.....Trajore was a
collosus and will blood into the new Thuram.....Biscan had so much
chocolate on his biscuit that i wanted to join his club and Carragher
was beyond words.....

Sweat dripped from every pore and moulded success and we will the ball
to ping pong around the centre of the pitch.......you could feel our
Anfield brothers sucking the ball into the chelsea net and puffing the
ball out from Jerseys polish fortress....(the nazi's may have done it
once but the foreign legion wasn't breaching our defences)......Robben
flapped on to great applause but was kept to the wings and Gudjohnsen,
that icelandic iceberg toiled to no avail.....flashing a threat past
our post like the tremendous god thor....only for the angelic hyppia
to throw a wing over the goal mouth and protect us from harm.......

No Russian referee this time to the rescue, though some well paid
dignataries bellowed onto the pitch to increase the
pressure......dancing through the penalty areas they thought to add an
extra 6 mins and showed chelskis desperation.....

So, Jose must still be the chosen one......the one chosen to finish
merely lower than greatness this year.,.....Step up my goggle eyed
spaniard who has wizardry in his tactical brain....who can make
diamonds shine out of the ashes and make millions look like
pounds.....Shine that beaconic forehead and lead us fighting into the
cauldron of Istanbul

WELCOME TO HELL AC MILAN...we will be waiting!

New Pope

He's German, he's a pretty old pope but welcome him up to the top seat to take a bow....welcome Pope Benedict XVI

Doctor Who says bye bye

A week after the bloody crazy excitement of Doctor who being recommenced on BBC 1 the newest who has decided not to be around for the next series...mmmmmm sounds like the first series is not going to be as exciting as it should be....????

Running

I came home today and went for a jog and now my mind is completely buzzing so I can try and do some of the things that have been waiting around a little too long waiting on me like writing in this blog.....so here we go.....trying to build a jigsaw picture of the past month.....see previous blog entries to see result.

Decisions

Came out of the cinema yesterday after seeing Melinda and Melinda....the new woody allen film completely energised....I realised how important the actually act of watching films in the cinema is in comparison to watching them on tv at home.....You can't help get involved.....can't help noticing little things that make the film all important like I find myself staring at the furniture or the apartments and imagining what it would be like to live there....Now this makes me wonder if i'm getting old.....cause i think about furniture....mmmmm Besides I also enjoyed looking at a huge version of Melinda walking around played by some unknown actress called Rhadha Mitchell

After the film, Colin and myself went to have a pint and while pinting we chatted about turning off the television for a week....instead we read and do other things,.....so its going to happen!!!

Catch 22

Just finished reading Catch 22 today and it feels like a day of absolute triumph. You know those books that you just struggle through completely but are completely resolved to complete them because you want to find that little groove where the book just envelopes you and brings you into its warm world......well Catch 22 was like that! I read and read and kept flicking pages and although I was warming to Yossarian the crazy main character it just wasn't drawing me in.....but at the end I wanted more....I wanted to keep turning and struggling because I think thats how war feels.....its a crazy mishmash of things and never makes sense but you still want the people around you to live even though you might find them irritating cause we are human after all...but when the sickness of war is over what do u do in a normal world when you have been completely naturalised to a crazy background?......Not sure if that makes sense but thats how I feel!

Happy Easter

Ireland V Israel

Was watching a few matches today with the biggest hangover I have ever had in life.....Ireland V Israel.....sadly they didn't get the win letting Israel come back to draw with them and England hammering Northern Ireland 4-nil.....

Daily

Daily
I snap at the
crocodile tears
fusing my eyelids closed
to see a new day
slip quickly into gear
slap the coffee down my neck
and strap myself in to the day ahead

St Patricks Day

Woke up pretty late with the sound of a mobile going off.....

Died

Like dried bark of a seeping wild hazel tree
carved with our entwined initals
on a soft slumber day in June
when your tulip eyes
loved me

I died when you stabbed me

Bursted

Hastily hacked in half
she squeezes the pulped
primary colours
until the pips ping
purposefully
into the purple
perspex
plantpot

Songs to wear pants to

Looking (browsing) around the internet like you do.....I came across the following wonderful Idea for a website......songs to wear pants to....now i don't know about you but I rarely walk around without pants....merely the short walk from the bed to the shower and back again.....so that doesn't really ammount to many songs that wouldn't suit this site.....maybe its different to your experience of pant wearing....maybe its a real treat for u....maybe you spend years hoping for pants.....cotton ones with pinstripes....ok....too much info!

The Pain of being a pool fan Part II

Liverpool did well last night, in fact I would even go so far to say that it was an excellent performance from the boys in red....they peppered Leverkausen's goal mouth for the whole of the first half, scored 3 goals, could have had more and surprise, surprise.....Igor Biscan actually had a good game...in fact he was probably man of the match!.....

BUT

There's always a 'BUT'.....Jersey Dudek just had to drop the ball at the feet of an on-rushing striker in the last 3 minutes....couldn't have just kept a clean sheet and made it an 'easy' (if it ever could be when liverpool play) second leg.....no....we had to give them an away goal which cut the ammount of goals required by the Germans in half....instead of needing 4 goals they just need 2 and they are well capable. Remember this is the team who beat Real Madrids gallacticos, Kiev and Roma by 3 goals.....all at home.....they know its possible especially if Dudek is dropping the ball as often as he is! FOOLs! I will be sitting fingers crossed in two weeks that we do it....if we do I'll be as happy as a pig in poop....but not until we get a result....i can't be cocky....i can't.....i've seen these things backfire before!.....come on the pool!

Fancy Sausages

Now I have a matter to bring up with butchers the world over, those butchers who experiment with the humble classic sausage, adding apple, banana, chilli to the mixture to make a brand new flavour!......PLEASE STOP! Theres nothing wrong with normal pork sausages, absolutely nothing wrong with the succulent flavours of meat without meddling with it….adding foreign substances,…..I always bristle when I see what concoction they have produced when I pass by the meat counter at the supermarket……broiled beef, mushroom and sage, garlic and cucumber…..!?!?!? I’m half expecting to find cappucino and chocolate sprinkles flavoured sausages…..I say NO to fancy sausages…....leave them alone for god sake!

Hunter S Thompson

Crazy self styled wild man creator of ‘gonzo journalism’ shot himself in the head today…..The maker of such drug fuelled journeys as fear and loathing and the rum diaries has finally met his maker….It seems a strange coincidence that on a laugh fuelled shopping trip along with my compadre Dardis, I picked up a copy of fear and loathing in a second hand bookstore. The novel was winking at me from behind the glass counter just as I was buying blandness due to the necessity to find a follow up to Catch 22 that I am plodding through at the rate of 4 pages a day…… so as I just discover the crazy trip its gone!....

May he rest in peace!

Porridge

Its got to be one of the greatest sitcoms ever…….Ronnie Barker is just a comic genius!...Colin and meself sat and watched the second series straight through last night….and it just put a warm glow in my tummy…..like when you watch re-runs of fawlty towers, last of the summer wine, the good life……it just feels right…..you know that there won’t be comedy like this ever again!

GTA San Andreas

Has taken over my life…….I have begun talking about my homies, fantasising about robbing banks, shops, beating up people in the street, I see a nice car and I want it…….holy shit…..I even thought about buying a beanie…..in the real world!....It is an awesome game…..but heck….I need my life back!......

Wetsuit issues

I have a wetsuit hanging in my bedroom and it has been hanging there ever since I bought it back in November last year…..I haven’t yet gone surfing in it….but did wear it once and jumped around the house in it……it was particularly funny……

Only recently all I can smell in my room is the smell of rubber and it has begun to stretch to some of my other clothes…..in fact all I can smell from the shirt I wear today is rubber…..and it is quite distracting…..so distracting that I’m not sure if I like it or hate it…..it may be making me paranoid that I have been smelling of rubber for months and have only just realised….my whole persona may have been called into question due to the rubber issue…..friends are probably saying things like ‘how do you suppose he came to smell of rubber’……’Do you think he is doing strange nocturnal things?’……..so…friends who read this blog…..read above and understand the reasons….a wetsuit that needs a new home within my home!

UEFA Cup

Channel Five or Five as it is now known showed a double header of UEFA cup football tonight and I would have rathered gouged out my eyes with a spoon than watch them…..the UEFA cup is a pile of shite….unless of course Liverpool are in it…..which is when it becomes supremely important….even more important than worrying about eating a hot quiche too quickly so it burns the inside of your throat…..do not try at home….is very uncomfortable and it makes the rest of the day a bastard as you attempt to enjoy other food and drink……

My Life is a film I haven't yet watched

My ultimately more talented beanie wearing housemate has had a wee blog dog for a while now and he requires us to give his blog dog a wee post or two......be nice for lent and throw the blog a post.....i promise he will be eternally gratefull and may even dance a little dance for you....

It gets bad in life when....

you find yourself watching greyhound racing on television and pretending to enjoy it by cheering when the dogs get closer and closer to the mechanical hare/rabbit.....I am a great supporter for watching obscure sports on satellite television.....like the other day when I watched 'Bravos' King of sports when one of the events was 'falling and banging your head on a cushion'.....mmm I'm sure having a mild heart attack might help you win that one......

Give a little Whistle

Ever since I was a wee boy I have always wanted to be able to whistle and roll my tongue....and it has always been my dream to conquer these tasks...Imagine my surprise recently when I was walking along the street only to hear a whistle emit from my lips....I kept blowing and I could hear a sharp whistle.....so pleased I have been that I have been showing off my new skill at every opportunity....Now, I can't whistle a song like a bird....its still early days...but I can make a noise which is better than before.

I mentioned this to my workmates and showed them my new whistle.....they laughed at me heartily and told me that I sounded like an owl....Mmmm not sure if this is a comliment or an insult so I just sat happily making my noise until asked to keep it down....

50 free views

Have only got back into the habit of surfing blog explosion since about xmas time I was very busy at work and decided to cut back on a few things.....number one was surfing blogs and number two was writing blogs.....it was only meant to last a month but like anything.....weights, making my lunch everyday, reading and writing regularly...all it takes is a few days off it to make it much harder to get back in the habit....
Anyway, started back at blog explosoion (hello visitors)and firstly noticed the ammount of welcome changes....two months is a long time in blog land and then I started realising you get as many credits as pages you visit....with mystery credits.....which is very welcome. I remember having to view for about an hour and a half to build up credits....and the ammount of mommy and knitting blogs we had to look at....nearly turned me cross-eyed.....Getting off the point....ok I got my first 50 mystery credits ever and jumped around the room for like 5 mins after....I wonder what its like winning one of those lottery things and getting like a thousand credits.....thats mad!......I'd probably jump around for 20 mins then!

Oven Cleaning

Spent a lot of today....maybe 3 hours cleaning the oven....god and the ammount of grease that came out of it was crazy and it still doesn't look completely clean....Looks like I will have to spray it again tomorrow!

Bit broke at the moment, due to all the driving lessons....its seems like I have been wishing away every month these days....always looking out for the next pay day!.....hope sometime in the next few months to have a bit of luck and get a windfall from somewhere. Haven't won the weekly gamble since the winning on the first two weeks we started....

The pain of being a Pool Fan

Our rivals for fourth place, Everton lose against Chelsea early this afternoon....all Liverpool had to do was pick up 3 points so that we would catch up! But what happens? Liverpool play terrible and get beaten by a lower Birmingham City side two-nil....When will they ever be consistent.....4 consecutive wins would have been too much to ask I suppose!

Thankfully Ireland came back from an early try by Scotland to run out deserved winners in the 6 nations game today! Looks like they are still favourites for the grand slam!.....Only the second in a hundred years.

Doodling!

Camilla and Charles

God.....what next? Honestly not that bothered about these two getting together but I have been wondering how many camera lenses had problems after the photoshoot.....yes....a face only a mother could love has old Camilla Parker Bowles!

Bacon in the morning!

Well, this week I have embarked on a wonderful journey of enlightenment. Complete with my buying the 'George Foreman' health grill, I have woken every morning to the smell and sound of bacon frying on the grill....it leaves me enormously satisfied to the extent that I believe that the grill is the best dammn thing ever invented!....

God bless George!

Rockys Back

Click on the link above to see an amusing attempt by some brave soul to take the mick out of the legend that is rocky!

Driving Test

Ohh well, was hoping that I would be able to tell you all a bit of good news with the driving test....but sadly I didn't do the job....it was a very tough test and I just wasn't prepared for it...

It wasn't so complicated.....went to the driving centre and parked the car...waited around for the instructor....a gruff grey haired man in a fleece jacket....(aren't they all)...he tested my eyesight and then we did our first manouvere....got out of the space and did it without touching the lines......driving out on the road.....made a few errors...in the wrong land at the roundabout.....stalled....got a junction wrong......no wonder when we pulled up at the test centre he told me I failed.....then slammed the door and told my instructor off for putting something behind his seat so he couldn't push it back!.....

Anyway, all set to take the new test in May....hopefully I'll be up driving pretty soon then!....At least I have a few months to get ready for it.

A Day Off!

Had a great day today.....went shopping....got the hair cut....ended up buying some t-shirts and things....great to get the freedom of walking round the shops and everything!.....Makes me think back to when I was at university and had most days to myself....especially final year. Some days I just wake up and wish I was back there.....sitting in a cafe all day....taking it easy!?!

Mary Magdelane

If you have read the Da Vinci Code then this is what you have been looking for. Click on the link above and you can see the proof.

Lil Sister

She's 18 years old today....my little sis is now an adult.....its so strange to think how quickly time has passed......I remember when she was beginning to walk....so long ago!....So proud of her now! Well done Sis....the world is out there!

New Years Eve

Had arranged to have a party in our gaff....I had all the drinks, had made sausage rolls, cocktails sausages, plastic cups.....its was all set for a huge party mambo.....but alas by 9:30pm people hadn't turned and myself and colin were restless so we locked the doors and abandoned our own soire for the neighbours party.....

A punch (filled with delightful things) was scoffed and much fun was had by all and sundry! The bells chimed and we all hugged and kissed.....then i had the idea to get credit on the phoneo to ring some mateys....on the way to the shop I spied a taxi and leapt inside.....soon hairing my way to another party! I danced like a man from a mental asylum and shook my booty until I felt guilty enough to return to the other party and see what in heavens was going on.....landed back to find everyone in dissarray....all flamdoodled.....so i tipped my cap and went off to the land nod and nod and nod and nod....zzzzzz