Getting Paid

I so love getting paid.......I so love the last day of the month....although it gets more busier with invoice stuff.......I loves it.....plenty of smackeroonies!......lalalalalalalalal

Home and Sick

Stayed at home in bed yesterday with the sniffles and delighted by the daytime coverage of television programmes shown by Channel 4. Friends is followed by a whole host of American shows with a particular purple patch showing Frasier and Cheers in the afternoon! It makes me think seriously about going back to University.....the old days of watching GMtv, Richard and Judy, Countdown and Neighbours was like a religion....without the spiritualism!

I've also got this new channel on Freeview called Abc1 which shows a whole pile of American TV sitcoms that have never made it British tv before....now some of them are crap, but its far better than watching the news all day!

Again!

Sat and watched a Liverpool performance and once again almost cried with fustration! There must be something wrong with their heads to play so badly against Greek opposition, though Greek teams can't be sniffed at after the European Championship victory.

One thing I want to know is, what has happened to once one of the best prospects in world football....Harry Kewell? Its as if he has weights around his feet now.....I dunno! Its as if Liverpool can take a player who once set the world alight and just stifle him....while Arsenal does the opposite with ordinary players! ahh well we always have the UEFA cup success to look back on.....(joke)

And to give us a serve kick in the teeth, Waynetta Rooney goes and scores a hat-trick in his first match in the Champions League for the scum buckets! It just can't get much worse!

Stale Bread!

Just had some sandwiches with slightly stale bread.....it was annoying but I could still eat them! Nothing better than fresh bread though....straight out of the oven like my Granny used to make years ago! I don't think its that difficult to make, last year I was in Germany and my friends made Bread every evening, ready for the next morning! Such a great idea that i might even start doing it myself.......sometime when I could be bothered of course!

Tescos make a bread that doesn't go stale after a whole week.....there's definately something wrong there don't you think? Wonder what they add to it?

The Farm

There is a new relaity television show on Channel 5 (where else) that has placed a variety of C grade celebrities on a farm and challenges them to cope with looking after all the animals for a month or two! Unlike a lot these type shows this one is quite entertaining and features such stars of the stage and screen as Magician Paul Daniels and his wife Debbie Magee (already starting to shuffle cards and do some tricks) and Vanilla Ice (already annoying)....it has made for funny watching!
Funniest part so far has been seeing shamed footballers Stan Collymore proclaiming that 'Black people cannot be racist'? which stimulated a heated argument with the Vanilla man!

Hopefully theres more of this to come!

News Breaking: Just checked the site and it seems Paul Daniels has already dissapeared....leaving due to the friction after the aforementioned argument! See its already catching your attention!

Super Size Me

Went to see 'Super Size Me' in the cinema and along with reading 'Fast Food Nation' it has all just lifted the sunglasses from my eyes in relation to food. I mean its scarey what goes on in the process of meat in America and I think it has made me not so much want to give it up but know excactly where the meat I eat comes from.....so I am resolved to find a Belfast Butchers and use them from now on. The usual supermarket shopping is a product of laziness as is visiting the fast food companies.....it is just a mindless process and i'm not sure I'm ready to sit back and allow it to happen anymore. But, as with all these things i am likely to just keep it up for a few months and then decide that I might need to go back to the original methods.......Anyway, i'm going to buy Sausages (snags) and have mashed potatoes with them tonight.....just for starters!

Mc Donalds have a website dedicated to the countering of the supersize me film and it is quite tame actually just blandly re-inforcing the lack of effort it puts into worrying about what people think.

Going to bed last night i put on Radio 5 Live and listened to a similar debate raging about Mars decision to take the King Size version of the Mars Bar of the shelves due to growing public fears on health. The thoughts within Mars believed that the King Size version was excessive and there was no need for it, it just encouraged overeating. The reaction of the general public phoning in was quite surprising...most dissapointed that their favourite chocolate bar was now smaller and shouting about the disgrace of Mars taking away the consumers freedom of choice.

I think the same argument can be made about Mc Donalds, we don't have to eat their food but with more education about the harm it can do like through this film, then we can make an educated decision. Taking away fast food wouldn't solve the problem, but teaching us what is in the food will!

The Worst All-Ireland Final

The worst All-Ireland Final in living memory was played today with Kerry (the kings of the game) beating Mayo a bit too easily for comfort. At least Tyrone won a minor championship to make up for the failures in the senior team this year! I just couldn't watch the senior game it was that bad and just ended up serving beer to the dissapointed punters in my parents pub. The game was so bad that when Mayo scored a goal early on the whole place went mad just to celebrate a rare bit of excitement in a dull proceedings!Roll on 2005! Maybe Monaghan will do a bit better than a defeat to Longford.

Being at Ease

At home in Monaghan in Bandit country, Irelands answer to Mexico! So, have said hello to the parents, patted the dog, drank a gallon of tea, watched a few reality television shows and now I am at ease!

I'm actually on a really slow connection which makes you realise how bloody impatient we humans are now, that I can't wait an extra 2 seconds for a picture to show up on my screen.......I need instant gratification!....but theres more to life....isn't there! Haven't a drink in a few nights and I feel so much better....maybe I will remove alcohol from the equation for good and win a battle and a war!....though...hang on I did sample a really strange type of ale my dad found in a supermarket called 'speckled hen' so I'm lying! Damnn I was doing so well for a second.....maybe I can start from now!

Saturday Morning

Woke up this morning with a splitting headache....for once not after a night on the tiles....so maybe my body was in recovery....with the realisation i couldn't stay in bed for ever but had a driving lesson.....so i scraped myself from bed and staggered like a zombie around until it was time to leave and get breakfast!....
Sat down in Maggie Mays (botanic avenue) and had a filled soda (first in ages cause i've been cutting back) only for my phone to ring....my driving instructor was ill! Part of me felt sorry for him while the other part was overjoyed at not having to push my brain to any limits.....i'm sorry Paul (driving instructor) but I was suffering from a headache! Horray!

I Gots Myself a Reader

Hey, imagine my surprise this afternoon when I opened up my inbox to find a little message to alert me that someone had posted on my blog and I didn't even know them. I was gobsmacked so hard I fell over and scrambled amongst the dirty litter bin that lives below my desk here in beautiful gorgeous work.......she (yes....she!) left a wee bit in support of two of my discoveries this week and I feel accepted and loved.....she believes in my love of non-face cleaning and kevin costner syndrome....in fact she advocates it..... The reason one is so surprised is that the only people I have posting on it are dear friends, one is my flatmate Colin (a.k.a colon) who by the way isn't double chinned......and Cinta who understands me far too often!......

So I extend a hand of gratitude to my new found friend A Murray or Hagfish to her friends (I suppose).....I shall leave little messages on your place as well....and then I might go and give other people this beautiful feeling of love......love.....love.....love....love (beatles in my head.....get them out!)

Face Grace

Realised last night in a conversation with a few friends that I never wash my face.....I have a shower every morning of the week and as usual I just wash my hair and body and stuff but don't bother with my face....the water spray sorts that out! So, they said to me that it was terrible and that I should use an exfoliator but I couldn't go to Boots and buy it myself......I have enough problems buying shaving foam and things like that.....so moisturiser and face wash would be a step too far! Then I got advice about going to Gordons chemists instead of boots because they don't have a perfume mist barring you from the rest of the cosmetic goods...like boots do...and there are less orange ladies waiting for someone to buy!

Kevin Costner Syndrome

Last night, I returned from watching Dodgeball in the cinema (not overly impressed, felt it watched like a spoof of Mighty Ducks would be like) to lie back and watch Open Range on DVD. Was in a dilemma in the Xtravision not really sure what I wanted to see when i just happened upon this recent Kevin Costner film. Little did I know that higher beings were at work!

So, I was half way through what is basically a slow meander through the wild west with a few cowboys played by Robert Duvall (Kevin's bud) and Kev in typical Costner typecast...a lonely hero who wins the girl....when I realised I was enjoying it. And then my mind did a little searching in its filofax only to realise that i tend to like Kevin Costner films....Dances with wolves, Untouchables, Prince of Thieves, JFK, The Postman, Field of Dreams...even Waterworld (slight blip with The Bodyguard)......in fact I was nearly sure i was a fan... Now at this I began to sweat. Surely people have been shunned from local villages for less and I need my city cause it provides income and a place to live, but the sirens I heard were surely Fire Engines and I didn't smell smoke....so I was ok! So I settled down to sleep...gradually fitting together an even bigger puzzle!
I also like Tom Hanks films as well, especially those directed by Speilberg......and this realisation made me want to tinker with my brain.....surely there is something wrong. But alas, i think I am just going to have to accept the truths of my life and move on.....careful of picking up any more uncool hollywood heros.......keeping strictly to a diet of De Niro and Pacino, with a bit Nickleson thrown in for good measure!......Save me lord!

4 am

Woke up this morning, went straight to the shower, washed, and brushed the teeth.....then went to go and get dressed, but first I checked my watch.......4 am....4 am.....4 bloody am......I just fell back into bed again!!....no wonder I was tired! I had only got into bed at 1am after watching Jackass 'the movie'.....ohh such a laugh it is to see the 'wee man' kick himself in the head....see those lunatics wedgie themselves from a tree! Anyway, woke up usual time and closed my eyes, resolved to get the later bus even if it meant I would be a bit late! Ended up making Ham sandwiches again cause I was running a bit late.

Well, thats ages ago now......just checked my Holiday time....I have 11 days to take before Xmas which is about 3 days every month......that means I can take a few weeks off work!.....just need to time exactly when to take them! Was thinking of going to prague in November but I might just go to Barcelona and watch the Celtic game or maybe go see a Liverpool match.

Ham Sandwiches

Getting a bit sick of Ham sandwiches despite the fact they are very easy to make, today I had ham and cheese and mayo....they were luvley! I think I might just start eating ham and cheese sandwiches for a while....and then branch into tuna and onion....and maybe even salad!?!?!

Heard of a great thing to do....take a cheese sandwich and make french toast with it.....and then have bacon with it! Marks flatmate Laura makes it and it sounds devine....absolutely devine!

Manchester United

Kangaroo, skippy, skippy, kangaroo......Gits......Liverpool were absolutely dire, playing too deep inviting the scumbags onto us and then letting them take pot-shots at us all day long! Liverpool looked very bad...they conceded a lot of possession and just didn't get out of their own half!

Ohh well, there is always next time......maybe?

Potato Sundays

Struggled along and bought some Sunday things.....had some Southern Fried chicken fillets in the fridge and decided to buy potatoes to go with them. Now, you must understand that in 7 years living in Belfast I have never extended myself to the job of making potatos (Ed: boiling not making) for dinner, even just for myself. But I decided enough was enough and fired myself up for the task, out came the pot, plink went the kettle and in went the spuds.......a lot of pacing and 3 games of FIFA 2004 and a bit of ovening of the chicken and piff paff poof! A chicken surprise with spuddies was ready...fire on the butter...and munchy munch....I was happy as a lamb in spring hay!

A wee bit of spuddies left over to fire up my culinary skills tomorrow!

Poetic Splendor

Upstairs in Whites Tavern on this evening of writing myself and my esteemed compadre Colin 'double chinned' Dardis stormed the audience with our sparkling hosting.....t'was a blast! Jane Bailey and Gerard Mc Keown did us very proud and performed well as our first two featured poets.

Afterwards we all sat and drank merrily....me on the Magners....recovering from a Tennants (can't find a link for it) overkill from the night before.....and the rest on more sociable mixtures. Ended up in a number of conversations:

• The benefits of burning hair off ones chest rather than conventional shaving
• Chinese Horoscopes (apparantly I'm a Tiger/Horse)
• Wether Farenheit is a retro aftershave
• The politics of goats

So, as you can see.....we are highly entertaining! So come along and see us on the 3rd Saturday of every month at 7pm! It would be great to meet you finally!

Freckles

Freckles in the morning,
wrinkle from her nose
and greet me smiling
as I tickle her toes,
'hello toes', I say
as her freckles
wrinkle from her nose
to her toes,
underneath those
warm bedclothes

Anchorman

Holy Jaysus batman, went to see this film and laughed my rocks off.....Its a fine display of cheesiness in the extreme and I think everyone with a sound mind and body should catch this fine flick whenever they can! Cameos from Ben Stiller as a mexican newscaster in a remodelling of the Gangs of New York scene steeler just adds to this smacking spoof! Incredible with a Capital I!

12 Angry Men

Just blinked my way through the day and then couldn't be arsed going into town so just laid down on the sofa and watched '12 Angry Men' a great wee DVD all telling the story of how 12 jurors spend a day talking about a case.....its a captivating performance and very refreshing even now.

Everything done.....almost

Woke early and bounced down to the Theory Test.....not really ready but ready enough....into the room where a monkey/chimp man said sit down and read a sheet.....30 mins later the monkey/chimp man said that there was ' A Probeeeelem wit di sysdem'....'wud u wait till 9am'.....so we waited and then he said 'Nuttin to do wit me but di sysdem is down and der ain't no test taday'......so I gave him my details cause 'you wud b refundedded henceforth'......

So, I bounces a little towards Belfast city (not of rock and roll) and popped into an opticians...first one I saw and I was ravaged by a beautiful sales lady/optician with long glowing hair.....she picked out my glasses in a swiftnes that baggared belief and trounced me up the stairs to her seeing eye lair. I was prodded and ponced.....and she had her readings. I wished to take a call and run off and she duely obliged.......so I did... I rang work sorted what needed to be sorted and scarpered back home to meet the NTL engineers at my house.

The NTL engineers brandished their tools and bullied the lines into action....broadband is alive....but no computer sadly!....

I turned on my heel and bounced back into town....straight to specsavers....found specs and paid for them....with perscruption from the lioness at hand.....scarpered again!

Bought food....brought it home and filled the fridge watched a short element of flickering tv....and leapt into the town again to pick up the new specs......

Out of the bag in specsavers, they looked splendid, on the face a bit blurry but sure thats ok....my eyes will get used to them.....but have i got used to them? no!.....haven't so need to go back tomorrow!

Long day, very tired........landed home and watched Liverpool win their game....well heard them win their game via Skysports....(ohh yeah...getting sky in on the 16th October....can't wait!).....Watched Ghost World.....bit bizzaro.....but good enough to eat...so I ate it!.....then bed!

Day off tomorrow

You know that feeling that you should be getting when you know that you have the next day off and you should be feeling absolutely amazing and getting ready to break free and wave your hands about.....but I have a theory test tomorrow.....and so I must study and I have to get up at 8:30am.....so there is no way I can wave my hands even in the direction of the bottle of beer in my fridge....and anyway I am on Detox cause of the weekend.....even my shakes had shakes and the shakes on those had shakes as well.....

Celtic got beaten by Barcelona sadly with Larsson scoring a great goal against his old team,....and the Chelsea won their opening game.....i likes the Chelsea.....as long as the scum don't win.

No Specs....No Idea

Its feckin annoying to live your life without specs or eyesight.....its strange how important eye-sight can be and how much you depend upon it and take it for grant. Due to dancing in abnormal ways during the weekend I lost my specs and now am blind like a little mole!

So, my lesson is today.....Abnormal dancing is only for those who wish to look abnormally.

Champagne Bubbles

Champagne Bubbles make me tingle,
Sleeping around makes me single,
a bubble bath is a nice place to mingle,
be single, just mingle, just tickle,
be single, make her tingle, just mingle,
Be

Jack Dee

The New Jack Dee show on Monday Nights is great.....tonight it was Ardal O'Hanlon and he just made my stomach cackle with laughter from start to finish. I think his sit-com My Hero is a pile of pants but his individual standup is one of the best in my opnion......humble as it is!

Ohh Kevin Mc Aleer is playing at the Belfast Festival @ Queens, can't wait till that gig!

Tears on my window

I watch the sea mists hang impatiently over the mountains…
biding their time inching ever so slowly preparing to empty a flash flood making Playgrounds childless, Paved street puddles stage their skipping water ballet,

A panoramic ocean view fierce with its watertight white teeth crunching and swallowing whole strands of beach,
Birds flanked by sheets of rain being given a water tunnel guide to their destiny,
Trees provide an awning of shelter to midday joggers unable to outrun a natural storm in a race that’s impossible to train for..
Freshly ploughed fields once full of carefully laboured patterns which patch all of this countryside suddenly muddle and merge into a watercolour painted from memory of how it may have existed before…..
You can’t escape,
You can’t outrun, outplan, out manouvre, outstrategise this water when you are outside in its rain……
so do what I do and just watch and wait.

Sunday Sunny Day Sunday

Aghhhhhh my head........aghh my whole body.....aghhh I have sore knees.......
I got home at 8am this morning.....the others are still partying in their flat and I am off to bed.....

snooze....

woke up again at 12:30pm....sat and watched all the television on Channel 4..... ohh yeah....stood on my glasses so had to get out of my pit and do a sniffer dog search for the old ones that fall apart all the time.....finally rose about 3 or so and watched the results on Skysports news and did the mopping and everything! Went up to see my mate Mark about 8pm and he was just stretched out on the sofa still drunk cause they had been drinking all day....I couldn't have done that!.....

Went to bed hoping that the demons wouldn't keep me awake.....although I had just watched Alien Resurrection and so was likely to be awoken by Sigourney Weaver bald and angry!

Driving like Nigel Mansell

Wow, still hungover from last night and only with a cup of coffee keeping me going I was ready to cancel my driving test.....standing in the street waiting for the instructor who was a little late....but with a hangover it felt like days......I was going to tell him i had an urgent appointment and cancel....but I didn't....the little voice in my head said 'Go on'....so I did

And I had the best driving lesson ever in the world.....all my manouveres were spot on....I even did a new parrallel park.....it was amazing!....Maybe it is the answer to all my questions.....drink!?!.....Maybe it isn't the answer to any! Anyway.....had a great day skipping up the road...to the pub....and I stayed in it most of the day....or I moved between a few during the day! Smarties may have the answer but Drink definately asks the questions! Would you rather be Bob Holness or George a father with two kids doing a degree in Sociology living in Shrewsbury?

Slammin' Slam

Just went to see the Laganside Poetry Slam in the Duke of York in Belfast and was completely blown away by the standard and completely inspired with every thing I saw. Wasn't the best sound due to the venue and things......but it was without doubt one of the best nights this year.

The winner was a poet from Newcastle called Scott Turrell, who is one of the best Slammers in the United Kingdom at this moment in time. He looks a bit like Phil Jupitus but sounds like Ant and Dec when they have reached maturity.....anyway....ended up staggering home via Esperatos.....an incredibly wonderful Kebab shop that lights the sky at any time of night.....likely to be the only place open at 4am every night......useful!

Blogger Sick?

Was it just me or was this website not really working yesterday? Tried to do a load of posting and everything and it wouldn't allow me to but now I have full reign!....i'm going to go crazy!

Drink?!?

Why is it that I could sit and drink 3 pints of Guinness last night and now I feel particularly perky today but when i just breached that 3 pint limit and stretched it to 5 the night before I had the worst day of hangover in a long time.......I always thought i had a 2 pint limit before, meaning that if i only drank two I would be fine and if i even just drank a bit over 2 (like 2 and a half) then I may as well have 20 because I'd experience the same range of terror in the morning!

Maybe someone will bring light to this debate and give me the answer!

Sore head!

God, drinking those 5 pints last night seemed like a good idea at the time but it definately doesn't seem so hot right now, my head is bursting! Just went to the Pub with Mark (who lives in my old flat) and his flatmate Laura and nattered for ages, marvelling at the fact that auntie aunies is a great wee pub and only round the corner as well. Just wish I marvelled a little less! Ended up coming home and playing FIFA 2004 on the playstation for an hour beating the mighty Manchester United 2-1 on the way to topping the premiership with fanciful Bolton Wanderers.
Got a few more nights planned before the end of the week including a work night on Thursday, which means I might just stay in tonight instead of going on the lash to watch the internationals. Would love to see Eire beat Switzerland but maybe it is a bit too much to be drinking two nights in a row.

Internationals!

Sky sports have just monopolised the Wednesday night internationals, there are no home international games being shown on terrestrial television as Northern Ireland V Wales (first time in years they have met) is being shown on Sky sports 2 and England is on Sky sports 1, with Rep.Ireland and Scotland playing on Sky sports 3 and xtra accordingly!

Its just wrong that the normal football fan cannot even watch his own country play on normal Tv without having to join the masses who tune into Rupert Murdoch's bloody satellites....... Sort it out normal Telly......I want to watch the next ones at home rather than in the pub where one can get drunk!

Scotch Eggs

Don't know if any of you have seen the Office sitcom....but the Xmas special was repeated on BBC 2 last night and by far the funniest thing I have seen on TV for a while involved a fat bloke called Keith, a scotch egg and a discussion about pleasing a woman....Classic Television!

Racing Froggy Woggies

Came across this website today which allows you to choose a Frog, give him characteristics, train him, feed him, give him presents and then race him like a horse against other Frogs. It's just like betting in asia apart from the lack of grasshoppers and having to be in asia to do it! So check it out you crazy people....and get a frog up and running like crazy! My Frog is called squiggle and he is a mean mofo.. "bring it on, ribbit!"

Hell Boy

Went to see Hell boy last night in the good ol' cinema, where I can still pretend to be a student and get cheap tickets.....having a youthful complexion can have its advantages. As I had never seen the comic book character in illustrative form it proved to be a leap into an unknown world as I sat and watched this devil man start into action.
I enjoyed the darkness of the film and they (the filmakers) have not made it completely animated and the bad guys are amusingly evil enough to make it good fun! Sadly, not enough footage of Selima Blair in the show and as she is a hotty in my book....this is a terrible shame among shames!

There are bound to be sequels as nothing was actually solved as it tends to be quite difficult to kill immortal bad guys!

Ohh and Ireland had a good victory in the international on Saturday walking away with a comfortable win despite it being against lowly Cyprus......Andy Reid stepped up with a nicely taken goal.

Irrelevent

Just got an email from a mate who claimed that now my own site is irrelevent, but I don't think so! This blogger is easier to operate so will help me to vent feelings in a jiffy and I will add to it regularly while my own site still has the photos and the poetry and all that crazy humblehah....

sure it only took me 5 mins to put this craic together and write this wee post.....its great!

Goddammn Bills

Then the next day I completely unpacked and rang all the places like the Gas people and the Electric people and the TV licence people. You know what it all cost a fortune....the bastards have not got free-phone numbers and they put you on hold for ages, I spent about 10 quid on my mobile to them! But its all sorted now and everything is transferred!

I'm so happy cause I have now left my Gym Fitness First and have now taken the money that used to finance such stuff and put it towards getting sky digital, isn't that great!...Now I will be an avid watcher of sports and a non-player of sports. But I had to give the gym a typed letter with valid reason for me leaving their agreement!

Moved House

Anyway, the night before last (Tuesday) I moved house/flat from number 8 in the development I was in to number 1. So, thankfully all i had to do was move all my things down some steps and through a door! Took us 45 mins to move everything over....surely the fastest house move ever! Then i just had to re-arrange everything so it fitted in the new place! By the way, in case you didn't know I have moved from a 3 bedroom flat to a new 2 bedroom flat with my mate Colin.

The new flat is great, it has wonderful sofas, a dishwasher, we both have double beds (good for the rumpy pumpy girls...wink...wink), I have an en-suite while Colin got larger Closet Space. Which would you rather? A bigger Closet or your own Bathroom inches from your bed.....Though he also gets his own bathroom cause I won't use the main toilet.....but he will have guests peeing in there and stuff! It's not that i am against guests peeing in my toilet, in fact I am all for guests peeing in the toilet rather than in the sink or the laundry basket...its just....i don't have to worry about that any more....wow wee! The living room is huge and we have a huge space in one corner which is crying out to be filled but we don't know what to fill it with......was thinking a bookshelf and all the books....and videos and things.....and then someone said try a plant....but plants are boring and I'm not my mother! Time will tell what will go in the space but until then it is just space!